No, You Can’t Have It All, But You Probably Don’t Want it All Anyway

Okay, self, I think it’s time that you and I had a little chat.

Picture this:

  • You have a great job, one that you love, that you like to put a lot of time and energy into.
  • You have a family that you also love, a spouse, maybe a couple kidlets. You want to spend time with them, and not just time, but quality time. You want to be supportive and available and engaged.
  • You have a rigorous exercise regimen that keeps you really buff and requires at least an hour every day. Maybe you play a sport, too.
  • You have a hobby that you are deeply passionate about, and love to immerse yourself in for hours at a time: scrapbooking, woodworking, making ceramic unicorns, whatever floats your boat.
  • You have a wonderful circle of friends who you like to see at least once a week.
  • You have a beautifully decorated house that is never messy.


Are you beginning to see the problem here?

There just aren’t enough f*cking hours in a day.


As a society, we have this idea that we should be able to have it all. That we should aspire to fitting all of these things into our lives. And that’s great, I guess. But the problem is that it gives us an unrealistic expectation of how life should be. In actual fact, most of us, besides the very, very blessed, can’t have it all.  None of us is a superhero (at least, I know I’m not. And I don’t think Bryan dons brightly hued tights and a cape, either) and we need to give up on the notion that we can be and realize that it’s okay if things aren’t picture perfect. 

  • It’s okay if you throw most of your time and energy into that great job that you love so much and don’t really have time for scrapbooking.
  • It’s okay if you want to spend most of your time with your family and so you don’t really see your friends except for maybe every other month.
  • it’s okay if you like to come home, sit down, and make ceramic unicorns for three hours and so don’t have the time to work out and get that six pack or keep your house spotless.

The thing is, it’s your life, no one else’s. The fun thing about that is that you get to decide what is important to you. You get to set your priorities.

So, dearest self, this is a friendly reminder to let go of the ridiculous notion of “having it all” and focus on “having what’s most important.” My house is relatively clean but not spotless. I work out for half an hour in the mornings, sometimes 15 minutes, sometimes not at all. I prioritize spending time with Bryan, family, and other people I love over most other things. This is my life and these are my priorities.

What are yours?

PS. Inspired by this post that said it way way better than me, at a blog that you should totally follow, even if you don’t run your own business, because it’s awesome. 

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Jessica can most often be found with her nose in a book, or writing her newest short story/screenplay/novel, but she also has a passion for travel, child-care & development, psychology, feminism (and other forms of equality), and making the world a better place in general. Email Me